Why don't you ever send me any naked pics
That guy over there looks like a cartoon/action figure.
omg, i know.
we're too high.
If the first sentence isn't something about weed or the nature of choclate I'm skipping class.
Just did free shots of tequila at a walmart. Hello Mexico
On the quad today: An amish choir singing something weird, and not 30 feet away 3 girls tanning topless. Definition of diversity.
They were like stripper heels, except business stripper heels, the kind strippers would wear to court.
Say it nicely.
Fine. I want to lovingly bend you over and lovingly fuck the shit out of you. Happy?
I'm sweating so much right now i look like Whitney Houston
did you find a tooth?
did you lose one?
After a couple hours you decided you were going to walk home but ten minutes later you called and said you'd puked by the side of the road and you needed us to drive you to the art museum.
we couldn't find any funnels so we taped a spaghetti strainer to a pool noodle and it worked fairly well
And drunk me decided to play keep away with sober me's dignity
Jesus christmas you are like the Martha Stewart of threeway planning
I'll always remember 2012 as the year I hooked up with countless girls who had the sides of their heads shaved.
Apparently I was directing traffic outside of Keeneland. Apparently I'm not a police officer. Who knew....
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