I woke up with semen in my invisalign. My molars were just marinating in it
The guatemalans kept making all these sexual suggestions ... With the corn
We broke two of his toes while having sex. He laughed said he'd fix it in the morning and kept going. I think I'm in love
Just because you put plan b in my Easter basket doesn't give you an excuse not to wear a condom.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I can't figure out how to get this beer bong in my carry on without airport security questioning me as it goes through the x-ray.
She just landed. Popped over for a BJ and left. I'm a fan of layover layovers.
That dick who always called me a slut in high school showed up at the clinic with boner problems. Then I was assigned as his nurse. Who's laughing now. I AM.
THIS ISN'T WORKING THIS IS THE DRUNK LEADING THE DRUNK
We fucked in my trunk while on the clock....what did you do at work today?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I remember you licked my face and said that's all you're getting
I'm having a really difficult time dealing with the fact that my dog now shares a name with Snooki's crotch-spawn.
Someone had written "Boxmonsterette" on the bathroom wall and I just knew you'd been here.
He played with my boobs the whole time we watched Scott Pilgrim and then started invited others to play with them too. It reminded me of how my mom gives out my french fries without asking.
I just don't understand how she's willing to go through so much planning and effort just to get a dick inside of her
Either im seeing the northern lightgs, someone is having a rave, or im on acid.. Im most likely on acid
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