im letting my talent of no gag reflex go to waste
these 2 russian guys walked past me and i got freaked out because i thought call of duty got real
Stuck in the Dallas airport. At the bar. Everytime a flight to DC gets cancelled, I'm takin a shot. Fuck you snow.
You really need to tell him that he has a girlfriend. I'm not sure he knows
I think I'm making progress on my commitment issues. I drunk made out with the same guy from last semester this weekend.
I fell asleep to him stroking my ass calling it his precious.
eta to your mouth 5 minutes
It was a group decision to take your pants off. Took a solid 10 minutes. No more skinny jeans while drinking.
So we played the stone cold theme song and continued to chug 2 beers at once and everyone just looked in shock
Just broke my collar bone. May not make it to the party.
I just saw a guy in a hazmat suit riding a tractor.
I promise that I won't shotgun beers with your boyfriend this time, Scouts Honor.
I need to immerse myself in a tub of peroxide to kill whatever traces of him are on me.
He started praying immediately after we hooked up, condom on and everything.
Sooo...you're driving 6 hours for free booze?
Don't judge me.
Randomize
