Ughh on my way to the bathroom now... literally just puked on myself and cleaned it off with a hot dog bun... I love tailgate
i spent 45 minuets spilling my heart out to him telling him i was in love with this other guy sorry. when i was done he asked me to give him a blow job. i did. i have commitment problems
Yes, he made a MIX CD for our booty call...
Did you blow the guy you weren't supposed to hook up with again in the bathroom of pita pit? Cause that happened last night...
And don't worry, my exact words were "I can't believe a baby came outta that thing"
His penis smells like laundry I just wanted to cuddle it
The feeling are messing with the penis
Only you could make a stripper uncomfortable by eye fucking her too much.
Nothing like snapchatring dick pics to a\nMarried woman while your girlfriend destroys Taco Bell in the next room. Almost caught, worth it. Got boobs back
I think my sex life is about to turn into a war on two fronts
I'm crying watching Rihanna at the VMAs. Periods are a bitch
When your job has killed your spirit to the point that you don't want to flirt with the cute, tall guy at Enterprise
GIRL PLEASE. GO BACK AND POP THE TITTY OUT
I remember that. We went to taco bell looking for pizza.
There’s a stripper dressed like a slutty pilgrim. Is that a thing?
It’s a 10 inch dick! Of course I’m getting a Brazilian
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