I drank like a thousand beers last night and my poo is solid, not gross like usual. I think this means I've grown up.
you didnt have any toilet paper so I just took a shower
When I'm drunk and can't pee, I sing my abc's in my head and try to pee before I get to pee. Last night I forgot to do it in my head
after he came i started crying. just to fuck with his head.
those 9 inches of man changed my life forever.
is it bad that I didn't wash the cum out of my hair because it keeps my curls intact?
maybe next time you'll take an ex boyfriend warning you that she's batshit crazy as a warning instead of a challenge
I thought monday through wednesday was a YOLO free zone.
Joined a porch party below me by climbing out the window and jumping off the roof. Tonight will be good
He has a lot of emotional energy invested in your vagina.
.......The other day I peed on him in the shower....he was trying to touch my boobs and I wanted my space.
Well for decently drunk, in the woods, last-person-i-should-be-hooking-up-with sex, i thought it was pretty good.
he just fluffed my hair and told me I had to dance with him because we were both gingers.
Fly, little bird! Repopulate the ginger race!
Cum just came out of my nose. That is all.
did he think i wouldnt notice the naked girl in the backseat
Randomize
