Don't worry I'll hold the wheel while you cum
Someone should tell Glenda that I only hang with her because she makes me look prettier.
I told her for every minute she spent down there, I would donate a dollar to the Haiti relief fund... totally worked
just fit an iguana in a condom...have pics
Those motion detector trash cans don't work fast enough to catch puke.
just cockblocked my boss's 17 year old son at the Christmas party
he laminated a picture of his dick.
I consented to having my finger branded. How was your night?
We fucked through the entire Destiny's Child album, it was a beautiful thing.
she basically told me that her vine videos last longer that I do
So, it's been almost 3 months and and I still dont know her last name. That's gotta be a record.
The fact that you got a stranger guy to buy you a pizza off tinder makes me feel amazing
I just felt emotion and I'm not okay with it
All I remember is the bartender saying your sucking them down and waking up on the floor in my underwear
We laughed, we cried, we fucked, we shirked our familial and work related responsibilities. They could make a movie about the last 40 hours of our lives.
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