oh posh. I need a real boy. To fill my void. This guy has potential. He is a Republican.
***** and i were talking about Republicans today. They are usually the champs of mediocrity but we decided mediocrity is underrated.
how do we leave politely?
Tell them I'm going into labor. I will spill a beer and tell them m water broke.
Hey, remember that girl at rocklobster you thought was hot but were to pussy to talk to? You were right, her boobs are fake and she gives the best head on the planet. Can you come pick me up?
You're dead to me.
there are 2 things i love giving: blowjobs & backrubs. how can i tell them that without sounding like a slut
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Typical Sunday afternoon purchase of condoms and a helium tank.
this is getting really bad. i thought the chandelier in the dining room was one of those claws from the claw games in an arcade and i spent the past five minutes jumping left to right so the claw wouldn't grab me
i just remember explaining why my socks were better than everyone elses.
he got mad becuase i made more noise when he gave me a back massage then i do when we actually have sex
Post walk of shame: realized the underwear I put on when I left was another girl's underwear.... woof
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When i sexted him a pic of my boobs I was worried he was going to notice the dorito crumbs and know I was just eating topless
I'm taking a dab in mourning of how long its been since I smoked with you guys.
She sent me a pic wearing only my batman cape. She stole my cape dude!
And with one simple text you can separate the men from the boys...."it's that time of the month."
What’s the level of adulting when you reschedule a dentist appointment to have a threesome?
Cops swarmed my car last night in the walmart parking lot cause of the paper plate
Randomize