He keeps looking? I tried to shag. I invited him to this table but he went to ze other one! If he shaves his 'tache I would totally hit it.
I dont think punching her boob is the type of reverse psychology that will get her to blow you.
"Guy Time" translaed into 10 shots apiece and me waking up covered in my own blood.
You'll have to pretend I'm texting you with buddychecks.
Like the Jimeny Cricket of cockblocks.
BRING ME THE PLAN B. ILL GIVE YOU A FREE WATER BOTTLE AND A BUMPER STICKER AND SOME BACON BITS
He gave me twenty cool ranch tacos and declared, drunk, " Look, I do good"
Look outside and see if the septic tank explodes when I flush this.
I think your husband is breaking up with me...
Uh oh we had sex and I don't think I like him anymore help
how drunk are you?
Several
Just rode a bull topless for a free bar tap for a month
Grandma cant send me 4 lbs of gummi bears and expect me not to soak them in some sort of alcohol
Also apparently I made a "cake sandwich"--yeah smashed a massive piece of cake between two slices of bread....fucking tequila
Are you really trying to argue your case that you seduced my cat?
I am certain that you would be a mere freckle on the behemoth of slutty that has taken place at this complex.
Randomize