did i leave my keys in your car? BTW: sorry for throwing that drink on your date.
The worst part was when my mom got more drunk than anyone else and started doing the Time Warp.
You gave him head? He fingered you? A little bit of make out?
WHAT THE FUCK ITS LIKE YOU WERE THERE
I forget the details, but I'm told that I drunkenly stalked him around floor yelling obscure Jewish laws at him
Shit. We're going to have to drink until they're cute
Hello cirrhosis
Kristy just reminded me that I have a bottle of champagne to lick off your ass hole...... This is by way of saying that we have plans on Friday.
Dumb decision of the night...walking home drunk and smelling my pepper spray
If it goes near your penis, it should not go near the Hawks.
i dont get why youre mad at me. i promised you he looked like jim morrison and you failed to ask me like which era
No, it's ok. He's Greek. To him I'm just a light drinker, not an alcoholic.
My roommate told me he found me naked in the shower puking and when he asked why I was naked I said "you can't wear clothes in a shower"
I believe in your delicious
does having sex with an episode of House playing in the background count as studying for my MCAT?
I never thought my gollum impression would lead to me getting laid.
Huzzah!
why is there a porcupine in the kitchen
Randomize
