you kept screaming that dicks were growing out of your back and then you started crying cause they were so far from your vag
could you get any more awkward?
im in his phone as 'great ass to tap'
Santa Claus winked at me two tables over at the Chinese place tonight I was almost afraid he knew "getting laid" was my Christmas wish
Guy having heart attack in McDonalds. Classic.
One blow job doesn not make me gay.
Just got a blow job while taking my online quiz. How is life in the dorms treating you?
Immediate regret. She's like a chihuahua on crack.
You made out with my dog and told me he tasted like a rainbow.
Grandma can hear your bong from the living room, please be more quiet. Love mom.
alright. I just need to set some ground rules, no lighting me on fire, and no broken bones. fair?
I'm taking ecstasy it's gonna be that kind of Vegas trip
Wanna know what sucks. Banging the bosses daughter at work and having the boss walk in while you are fucking on his desk. Good day though. Made 6 sales
AND I JUST BURNT MY BACON. WTF MONDAY. SCREW YOU TOO
ready for a night of bad decisions, horrible moral standards, and an unhealthy amount of illegal substances.
I just woke up, dressed as Chris Brown, with a bunless hot dog (presumably from 7/11) in my pocket, wearing a pair of shoes I don't recognize as my own. Help.
Randomize
