Don't threaten to terrorize my ass hole unless you have to wherewithal to back it up
ah. the first shower back home is like a baptism from the sins of the past year
I have shoes on. No pants. And my jacket pockets are full of ketchup and grass. Yes. Good night.
she told me I give head better than a lesbian. I know it's a great compliment but it kind of threw me off.
I woke up with $100 in my pocket and I was so excited until I found an atm receipt for a $500 withdrawal. Not as exciting.
Having skype sex with him in the lounge at 1:45am...THIS IS WHAT HE DOES TO ME
woke up with the dennys waiters MYSPACE link on the back of my receipt...yep one of those nights
How do I tell her I need the lights out when I'm getting head because she and my mom share a perm color
Red flag bro. Her only friends are barflys and a teen with a fake ID
Ended up in some house where this dude has a $1200 leopard cat
When I am this hungover I become increasingly grateful for having my own private office
Drunk me started making nachos apparently but never got to the part with the cheese. There are chips everywhere
Once again I let my vagina make the decisions...that and vodka :(
Can’t. It’s taco and dick night.
So you realized he wasn't actually cheating on you and now you're trying to unfuck things. Or in this case unfuck Tom.
Randomize
