I have a client coming in and there's a note that says she wants her hair to like Elisabeth Hasselback's from the view
that's Oklahoma for you
Should I text him? Life is confusing when you actually like someone instead of just wanting to blow them.
your youtube search consisted of "food slideshow" and "the angry beavers"
it wasnt like "sexy" or whatever. like...she was smiling just standing there butt ass naked
tasteful.
It's Christmas week. I wouldn't know what to do if i wasn't hung over.
The sound guy for the band told me id make a great valentines gift for his bisexual girlfriend
He offered me a ride home but i walked. He lives by an elementary school so a 10 yr old safety officer helped me across the street during my walk of shame
I'm just gonna wear a long dress with no panties today. My pussy needs a break.
WE SHOULD FUCK TWO GUYS THAT LIVE TOGETHER
THAT WOULD BE SO CONVENIENT WE COULD CARPOOL
Vom Wallet is no more. We now boldly enter a responsible, adult era where we will not throw up liquor onto ourselves.
I just try to date guys based on what I need like I am trying to find an electrician now
You gays are geniuses
Dude did I even see you at the bar. Cause I was for sure there then the next second apparently I was crying next to my Christmas tree because nobody believed in me.
What! You have to go to class. Otherwise, you're wasting money that could have been spent on weed. Gotta get that shit in perspective.
so, i take that as a legit invitation into his pants
I miss your drunken presence, and strong odor of hard liquor and potent weed.
Randomize
