i just watched my husband get a prostate exam. sex is ruined for me.
We've made a drinking game out of how many times the tornado sirens go off. We're good at tornado safety.
I can't make Walk of Shame Wednesdays a recurring theme.
Great I'll forever be branded as gym slut at the new gym.
doing a walk of shame covered in blue food coloring is only embarrassing if you make it embarrassing...actually no its embarrassing on all accounts
I'm not trying to alarm you guys, but I think I just swallowed a ketchup packet.
do you want me to tag you in the pics from the party?
Hmm. Use your judgment. Bootlicking pics are probably not ok. Otherwise fine.
His dick is so big it could be an arm rest.
Me and tommy were trying to figure out why our printer was jammed, found a condom stuck in the paper slot. #collegeprobs
2013: the year of legs covered in hair and pregnancy scares.
Did you take the bag w/your drugs & cookie cutter?
He couldn't get his dick hard. So he started yelling at it. " EVERYONE is laughing at you, you piece of shit no wonder you can't get pussy" i wonder if that happens frequently I'll try again next weekend
we turned the lights off and all you could see were my glow in the dark stars and his penis
Spent tonight painting strippers in camo.
Made it to my hair appointment on time, and got some dick. Today is already a great day
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