and that's when the elephants and penises started dancing on the ceiling
Just showed mom and dad the pics from San Francisco, while i played the Full House theme song in the background.
Margaritas are 250 calories. Now measuring all food in margaritas
stop bragging. last time i got laid i got double pink eye, and it was so not worth it
We sat in his closet and drank four loko out of my camelbak for an hour in the dark. You tell me how my night went.
I can't tell if I'm getting better at doing my online spanish hw drunk or if my teacher is just grading on creativity. Either way that senoritas gettin an applebees gift card when i graduate.
At one point during xmas dinner my whole family was double fisting. It was like thats how I learned to drink moment
the only thing you said was do the helicopter dick
The best of us have puked in our office garbage cans. I just hope yours wasn't the metal mesh kind...and bagless like mine. Rock n roll office manager.
I felt like I was having sex with Joffrey from Game of Thrones. Needless to say how bad it was
So you're saying that I ended up challenging a dude to Uno then proceed to punch them in the face?
Wow. I hope you were either doing that in your sleep or blacked out. You threw up then covered yourself in duct tape... i wish i got that on camera
It's very finicky. Like baking. or BDSM.
I'm not just straddling the line between love and hate, I'm dry humping the shit out of it
when i saw him today i think my vagina did the equivalent of a stomach growl... its been to long
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