Why did I wake up this morning with 10 tally marks on my hand and a penis drawn on my tits?
she is graduated, working for the school, and puking in the bathroom of a frat house. she wants brush her hair so she doesnt "look trashy". im in love.
i failed horribly. studying for that final was as pointless as Vinnie is to Jersey Shore
This exeeds the amount of high I planned on being.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Then I realized I was alone sitting on the bathroom floor brushing my teeth at 2am laughing to myself.
I would say I am sorry for punching you last night, but I found the pictures you took on my camera and it all came rushing back.
I'm just planning on experiencing Disney as adult style as it gets. Drinking bloody mary's at dawn and telling all the kids waiting in lines how badly their future sucks and that Santa isn't real.
Did you Fuck minivan and her friend last night?
Just when I thought he had turned a new leaf, I see a "Let me get you pregnant" shirt in his closet
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Can you pick up from work today? There's a surprise for you on the bed and I haven't gone blind which is positive.
multiple people will be seeing my nips tonight. not mad about it at all
Is there a polite/non-lush way to ask how alcohol ranks on their list of priorities? Because like idk how to break the ice furreal.
Just taking a shit and realized the captain planet theme song is stuck in my head.
idk i was trying to watch Fuller House and you got up out of a dead sleep, just in your boxers, said "no more Dave Coulier" and walked out to the living room and unplugged the router
The night got way more interesting after Jimmy started doing summersaults in front of the bar.
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