physics? naw man, teacher told us it was casual friday, so i decided to be super casual and not go.
Found my puke from September encrusted to the floor under the dresser while cleaning before move out ..... Oh Freshman year
can we change the rule from "no one is ugly after 2 am" to 1130 so i can justify last night
It happened again. Now theres even more baby powder and its all over the place, I'm not cleaning that house.
He snuck out of bed at 9 am and came back with pizza and a bottle of wine. I think I'm in love!
That big chick who gave you the handly polished off one of the walls to the ginger bread house right before she came outside. FYI
The last thing I remember is your grandma calling me a pussy and taking my shot for me. Your family is awesome.
THAT IS NOT SOMETHING YOU TELL SOMEBODY THE FIRST TIME YOU MEET THEM IN THE DARK.
Just played slippy cup. Flip cup plus slip n slide. What did you do with your fourth of july?
I had so much drainage I couldn't moan properly. Fuck allergy season
I agree though, his intact virginity is truly the tragedy of the century.
At 38 I had to open a Snapchat account to communicate with my 21 yr bf. where is my life going.
Don't worry my mom is buying me a vasectomy for Christmas
Hiking for a first date sounded like a good idea in theory because there was absolutely no possibility of me blacking out. In practice, I'd rather black out than go through what I just went through.
I just got a text giving me an hour window for when my vibrator is gonna be delivered. If that's not awesome customer service, I don't know what is.
Randomize
