I wanna get FUCKED up and fail the piss test at my eval so they send me to detox and give me suboxone... Is that bad?
I'm not saying he has herpes, I'm just saying he slept with my friend that has herpes.
So what if i ate it off the ground. Its like i found a five dollar bill just laying there, in burrito form.
to which he commented "you must really like me on top". I didn't have the heart to tell him that was the only way the room stopped spinning
Life lesson today, a six foot hot guy I meet at a party CANNOT fit on my bike with me.
Oh my gosh they are following me around the bar
Blow your rape whistle
Dancing naked to Celine dion - im alive. No better way to start the day
We were escorted through the guys dorm by 5 kids with nerf guns and zelda shields. I felt like the president with a fucked up secret service squad.
If they were bad they leave that night, if they were good they get a gold star, and if they were great they get invited back. Simple.
I don't drink nearly as much when I'm coupled, and that's not a lifestyle I can commit to
I think God is sending me all these 20 year olds to make up for wasting my 20's in that crappy ass marriage. Thanks Big Guy!
Guy just walked into the bathroom with only socks on and took a 5second shit. It is taking me longer to type this than for him to shit, wash hands, and leave the bathroom. WTF? Still wondering why he only had socks on.
She has an alarming number of pictures with cat ears but the sex is amazing.
Two of us got arrested. Gonna be delayed a bit. Save me a burger.
He agreed to matching Christmas pajamas today, no guy does that for a girl he’s not seriously considering marrying.
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