Hey I found your number in my phone i dont remember how we met this is richard btw
strange i dont have your number must have been a drunk thing
could be more
absolutely not
If she didn't want me to pass out in her bathroom, then she shouldn't have such a furry rug in there
I like complaining with weaving words and complex sentences. It makes me seem more sophisticated and less bitchy.
just accidentally masturbated with tiger balm. best. accident. ever.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
im sitting in my room wearing my power rangers shirt watching a movie about a magical dragon. Ive totally forgotten what having a sex life is like.
It hit me after I slept with his best friends and brother, that maybe I took it a bit far
If I die tonight. Just know that chicken I made fuckin ruled. Recipe: Chicken with a shitload oF spice
I'm definitely going to class still drunk right now and the freshman dressed as Hugh Heffner last night is texting me. I can't handle this.
Dude, you punched me in the face bc I wasnt ordering your tbell fast enough. Then when you got it, you threw it out the window bc, and I quote, "OBAMACAREEEE!"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Wow i don't think I've had to send this many texts apologizing for my behavior since high school...
Can you bring me the toilet please
yeah, never be friends with someone with shitty eyebrows.. they obviously already make poor life choices
Ugh why can't people just be grateful for my penis
I'm slacking. We've been hooking up for months and I have yet to bang him while he's wearing the clown mask.
Found out the cop gives spectacular head. Don't ask. We're going out to dinner Saturday.
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