He was in a gay KY jelly commercial. Jew male model. Reasons not to sleep with him. Go.
this is not the time for floating mt dew and shots of tequila.
He completely dissapeared at the baseball game. We found him passed out at the hotel three hours later with souviner photos of himself at the top of the Sears Tower.
Drinking games this Saturday as usual although the ice cube tray game is banned due to last weeks incident
I think she's perpetually drunk
It's all she knows
I'm doing blow on my fuzzy rug
Come join me
I'm gonna tie him up and fart in that pathetic excuse for a mustache
No cash. I had to buy four bowls of soup to meet the credit card limit. I'm not even upset. SO MUCH SOUP.
we need to invent and abuse teleportation
Are you good with a knife? I need someone to perform amateur surgery.
On a unprofessional note, there's a new girl in photo.
That wasn't unprofessional. The fact that I'm going to fuck her is unprofessional.
She asked me if I would fuck her with my storm trooper mask on
WHEN THE HELL DOES ANYTHING IN OUR LIVES *EVER* GO AS PLANNED???
listen I will take literally anything I can get my tiny gay fingers on
I just peed on myself the semester has officially began.
Randomize