i just got a UPS package from a name and address i dont know, with one of my thongs in it. no recollection.
My mom was talking about how protein is essential to strong bones and then I told her, I'll give you protein.
How unfortunate for your Mom.
What can i say, inner beauty is great but it makes a hard picture to jack off to
you busted in the room, ripped the covers off of us, ... and fist pumped
At what point in time did you think it was ok to jizz in my hair while I slept??
Around the time you told me my brothers dick was bigger.
Once I saw his penis, I knew I made the right choice
i had to wake up at 4 am to do my laundry because I was afraid if I saw people in the laundry room they would judge me by the amount of clothes I had covered in vomit from syllabus week
Best compliment ever: Being told that you really understand sex by a professional. After she gave you a HANDJOB.
I actually had to tell him that sex doesn't replace my Tupperware. Our relationship has reached a weird level.
looked up people from my old yearbooks. 3 ex boyfriends are gay. im getting drunk now.
How's my sex life is me mastubating next to her dog. that's how it's going.
On the other hand, this could be a new level of shame for me.
Taking out my recycling and 90% of it is alcohol and cat food. I am judging myself.
i dont believe you. i want proof. if you end up at a hospital send me a pic.
I know she’s pissed I fucked her husband, but I didn’t know he was married until after I blew him at Legoland
Randomize
