Had a 3 sum last night, and today food just taste better and the air seems so much fresher!
i just picked a peanut m&m up off the floor. with my toes. and then proceeded to eat it.
I could be wrong, but im pretty sure i jumped off the roof after my lighter.
I dont even remember coming home... All my stuff is strewn randomly around my apartment... And I woke up at 5 sitting propped up in my bed with just my arm in a shirt
I am broke enough to accept it. If I get poisoned, you can have my shoes
All I want to do on Facebook today is comment on people I knew in high schools profile pictures and tell them how much uglier they are now.
what a fun peer-pressure-filled weekend
Got too starbucks. 3out of the 4 girls working i have ducked and haven't ever called. My coffee has dick written on it. It may contain spit by pumpkin lattes are only once a year
It was all fun and games until she said "you're so pretty I wanna punch you in the face" and the proceeded to punch her in the face
Simultaneously sexting while making brunch plans. Multitasking at its gayest.
I feel like the dump I just dropped is the most successful thing I've done so far today.
just call my name and ill be there, if we are puking, beating up bitches, or pickin up men, OR avoiding wierd men, so many situations require a wingman
Dad danced on top of the bar with me last night. And has a video of me doing a beer bong.
he told me I was hypnotizing him with my mouth so I guess I do give good head
Flirting with/getting ready to possibly sleep with a married HS classmate and getting added to a bible study group chat within minutes of each other. #Balance
Randomize
