K I think ***** turned off her phone. Guess I can't make her feel any more miserable tonight so I'm goin to sleep
giving yourself 2 days to recover i see
I'll need it. Largely because i'm going to be stumbling through fancy restaurants with a bottle of whiskey insulting couples all night.
look out your window.... he's holding his iphone up like a boombox playing you beach boys
She took the bride and groom figures and the top layer of their cake and tried to walk out of the reception with it in her purse.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yea you just drank all the Hookah water, then started talking gibberish about the Kool Aid you just drank.
Tell them to carpool to pride, have a 3way, and if one says 'no thanks' just tell em it's not gay if it happened in a 3way!
nothing like having plan b for breakfast in a cvs parking lot before ordering this semester's textbooks
Well that's what you get for messing around with her vagina. I told you it was a fickle and insatiable creature.
I can't find my keys and there's a hotdog in my purse.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm so high right now that I winked back at a character in this TV show.
I danced shirtless on a platform with a fucking stripper who went to MIT
Compositionally, that's actually a really nice picture.
And your penis looks really nice too.
Teacher vividly described one of the times he did shrooms, sat down, sighed, and told everyone to go do drugs and let us out 15 minutes into class. I love community colleges
Married dude I had an affair with 10yrs ago was at table next to us at dinner last nite. My mom asked him to take a pic of us & then commented how cute he was as they left. Do I tell her he’s got a huge D too?
my mom is drunk and is trying to get me to take a picture of her ass. what is life?
Randomize