Pride was great cause we really can now appreciate how far we've come as gay people!
Doll, if you're still fucking strangers behind the WeHo Sonic while high on E then we've come as far as 2003...
did you know you can prarie-dog a fart??
gail simmons from food & wine magazine just heard me order my plan b pill
did you ask her what wine to pair it with?
We raised our shot glasses and you screamed out "TO MY DAD FINALLY GOING TO REHAB!"
I was ready to fuck him until he pulled the "I might be bi curious" card. Now its turned into a guilt fuck. It's like he's a 3rd world child in need of a sexual orientation.
How was your weekend?
The sex was so good. It hurts to exist.
I can't live in this building much longer. People are starting to figure out that it's me making the weird sex noises.
Kurt said to text you and encourage you to come out tonight. Encourage you with my rack.
We can just keep having sex until one of us finds someone we actually like
I put tequila in my salad dressing yesterday. Step the fuck up.
he fucked me with his goalie mask on. it was like sleeping with Darth Vader
Post breakup Disney World may be my best idea ever! Tinkerbell just grabbed my dick and gave me a kiss! This really is the happiest place on earth!
bought a large fruitopia from McDonalds at 7:45 this morning. Spilled it on the ground. Cried. THAT hungover.
He literally had a Trump sign in his front yard. I just can't now.
You do realize last night you asked me if shampoo had an expiration date then cried for 15 mins when I told you it did
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