Kelly went into her room with Dave, but is moaning Tommy...
Just once id like a girl to say to me in the dracula voice, i want...to suck...your dick...
um. i met him on myspace...we text now, he lives down the street
over or under 1pm before my bracket is too blurry to read?
Before you ask, yes. Whatever you're wearing IS too slutty for his mom's funeral.
Did I actually say goodbye last night or did I just poison you with vodka and disappear?
OMG HIS EYES ARE POOLS OF SEX. HOT SEX.
I just got a call from the front desk apparently one of my feiends was dropped off by a handicap bus passed out in a wheel chair unlv is goig down
I wanted him to come me this time. So I told him last time I was in the city I hit a lady on the head with an inflatable Santa Claus and just found out that the restraining order she requested against me was granted. We never hung out.
She pulled up to the bar in a limo, wasted, and alone. Gets out, shrugs and slurs "I couldn't find a cab" and proceeds to take a shot.
I'm in love.
He tried to stop traffic by waving his half eaten pizza at cars.... And we were stupid enough to cross .....??!!!
Just walked by a girl saying to her friend "honestly you coulda given me any dude and I woulda fucked him"
You should've introduced yourself
No. We can't get pedicures until my toenails grow back.
Just burnt my tongue. Not sure if it will help or hurt giving blow jobs
Just find a separated / divorcing man. They’re too upset to fall in love, too helpless to be alone and too horny to think straight. Smile at him the right way and he’ll be thrilled to be with a sexy younger woman!
Randomize
