am i morally bankrupt?
no. its just the recession
Ahhh... Adderall running out my nose in the shower really brings back memories.
I meant the "stage" gay, Not the "bend me over and call me Gary" gay.
I mean i stumbled out of the club yelling at random people" I"M GOING TO TEACH YOUR KIDS SOMEDAY!!"
And thats what homeschooling is for
All I know is I woke up next to her beside the toilet
I'm still tasting pancake mix. I think this may actually be a serious medical problem...
I like the odds of his and my children being professional athletes too. To support me in my old age, see I do think about the future.
I drank butter last night, who am I to judge?
I think I used my NERF gun during sexual roleplay. Need to re-evaluate my life choices.
Just found the measuring tape in my bathroom. How drunk could I have possibly been on Saturday?!
I'm gonna have to kick a girl scouts ass...
Actually we have similar relationship styles aka no relationship... it could work
im so drunk that this cat is mothering me. aggressively
Turns out that fresh outta jail dick is quite something.
Also—I just realized that your wedding gift is still on my dining room table. So...as awful as I am for not yet sending it (and I still need your address), at least I didn’t bring my screaming children to potentially the most important day of your life?
Randomize
