So. Did i wake up at 430, try to drive home, stop to throw up at a shell, and try to clean out my car and drop my keys in a full dumpster? Yes.
we were naked in his bed and he told me all about what a "baller" alexander the great was.
please explain to me why there is a shopping cart in my living room.
Saying we were separated at birth, got on a ship and sailed here via onion barrel from Somalia didn't help our case at all....
she was eating donuts out of the garbage. enough said.
I wish I could like. Pull my liver out, and put it in the corner of a boxing ring, put a towel and ice on it, rub it's shoulders, and tell it to "get back in there, you got this!".
Guess I'll put him on my to-do list too. But closer to the bottom since we dated before. That's almost unethical.
I think tonight's gonna be the night I wear a go pro while trippin on acid
Vodka and cigarettes aside, my body is a temple.
I wish I had a clear image of the dude who was sucking on my tit outside the bar last night
Im showing up stoned and in sweatpants. Because that is where im at in life right now. Sorry not sorry.
COME TO THE TOP OF THE MOUNTAIN AND I WILL GIVE YOU MY SAGE ADVICE.
What's the world record for number of orgasms reached on ones birthday? Asking for a friend.
in the future we should consider sippy cups so we can drink and passout accordingly
Give me the sexing that I truly desire and I will reveal to you the mysterious location of the PBR's
Randomize
