fun fact: cucumber in vinegar with pepper = best ever high snack
Well whatever you do have, it sure worked on me.
A Penis?
a drug dealer just gave me his business card. it had his face on it drinking a 40oz
I have no idea what's going on.... I just want to wear my horse sweatshirt and drink vodka.
Everybody shut up a minute, we need to discuss how much nicer the world would be if pants weren't a thing.
The drunk mom in a firefighter hat just told her to leave.
For my birthday I want you to get me in bed with Donald Trump. That is all. You have 3 months
Guess whose hungry like a hippo: this bitch.
After closing we did it on every flat surface in the bar. Best use a coaster if you're coming to happy hour today.
I seriously doubt this is the first time pumpkin pie has led to a booty call.
the shoes thing blows my mind idk how the fuck i did that and im also missing 4 of my birth control pills like did i drunkenly decide to overload my body with estrogen
Every FB picture she has looks like it's from the POV of the guy she's blowing
I'm not winning any crowns in the Miss Emotionally Stable pageant either...
A legendary roster of degenerates has been assembled.
oh i see... well this is a positive first step in you courting him for sex.
Randomize
