Well its official I'm an idiot. I made out hardcore with an employee last night in our banquet room. Oh and got wasted at work. Oh and showed my staff squirrel on a trampoline.
Just found out my brother beats off to Lauren Conrad. the Hills will never be the same.
Trying to convince my mother to let me take some of my sisters Lortab to sell is not going well
i love all of you. Physical. Emotional. Mental. All of it. When we speak i feel like a feather or a dragon depending on the conversation ...
Rub those nipples and moan like a platypus.
Jesus, are you hammered?
Hammered for that juicy ass. I'll bring the straws.
And I was aware of my actions - that is not a penis I will say no to until I have a ring on my finger
Dude, you like sabotaged my shower time by walking in and eating a snack pack on the toilet. That's messed up on levels that haven't even been created.
Attempting to sleep without a bra since i got my nips pierced wish me luck. Also almost sent that to my coworker.
The bottle brush for the bong worked really well to clean the brownies out of the waffle maker.
you never keep up with shots anymore
I'm trying to be more responsible these days
you fucking tried to take your pants off and pee in Taco Bell's parking lot
Did my dad just see you doing a walk of shame?
Yup I waved.
You thought her boot was a stray dog in your house..
We're starting to light shit on fire, bring a metal bucket. Be prepared, Jimmy's off his meds.
I just sold Adderall to a priest, im not quite sure how I feel about this situation
only i would get cock blocked by a cop
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