I hate my date so much right now for even thinking I want to do the electric slide.
"Worlds Wildest Videos" should be called "Crazy White People"
I had a drunk dream I lived on a puppy farm. I hope this dream repeats every night of my life.
I wont be hard to find. Im wearing a darth vader mask and I have a megaphone.
she just gave me a present from you... on a stripper pole. in front of the whole club. :)
WHY ISNT THIS A PICTURE MESSAGE
she's crying while babbling "all i do is win"
That's okay, during storytime I would have to sit on my hands so I wouldn't touch everyone. Explains a lot...
What's a good pandora station to masturbate to?
Now that makes it sound like you had sex with a guy in batman costume and you never took the mask off so you can't 100 percent be sure.
I can't believe he just friend zoned me like that.
Dude, you're not even gay.
I have woke up on a strange couch, in a strange house, on another campus. Can you Friend-Find me and pick me up?
my brother has friends over and I can hear one of them screaming from the basement "BREATHE. FILL YOUR LUNGS. LIVE YOUR LIFE." and it sounds like he's doing some motivational speaking down there but that's actually just how he encourages ppl to take bong hits
If I die write a nice eulogy and bury me with my star wars bobbleheads
Drinking wine while working. Yay.
Just had sex at the YMCA.
We are so productive today.
I'm dancing with a sandwich I just made cause I'm so happy how delicious it tastes, that high haha
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