It's amazing how much jurassic park has contributed to my life recently
You're the only person with a favorite bar in Disneyworld
i an so hammered right now. I'm about to pass out but i just found the lion king dvd and i'm so happy words don't even describe.
I'm gonna name my first kid mufasa regardless if It's a boy or girl
I showered today. Officially upgrading myself to useless.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just saw some guy walking down the street rapping about various types of pasta.
i am officially better prepared for a hangover tomorrow than i was for christmas.
It went alright, nothing too special, just got threatened with a knife by our server.
I vaguely remember having a 'grass is greener' conversation about our nipples. Dream or beautiful reality?
Beautiful, beautiful reality
I think it may of been me pulling down my pants is why she walked away.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well I can't go home with anyone tonight bc I stuffed my bra
Thank you for listening to my rant about tacos.
We just had sex in the shed while having a conversation about cheeseburgers...so that's how my day is going
fucking him is like fucking old faithful. you could set your watch by his orgasms.
Being drunk at Chick-fil-A is a dystopian experience
Is it acceptable to bring pot to a funeral or am I going to have to do this shit sober?
Randomize