Whats up?
Drunk as a mother trucker with panties on her thumbnail..laying thee down
Stay up. I'm coming home in a little
Ill try..hurry!!!! Thine hour awaits you
you were the other women for BOTH people in the relationship?
mom and dad sent me an easter basket full of beer pong supplies again.
When you gave me the first bj i thought 'yep, this girl is going to do great things with her life'
I AM SAFE. EVERYTHING IS FOG. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED.
Remember that time we were in the handicap bathroom snorting Molly at the stripclub. That was a defining moment in our friendship
I'm writing my will in case I die this week, it'll be saved on my computer under: little 500 death scenario
could you please not use my mortar and pestal for its intended purpose? i just snorted cracked black pepper.
They wouldn't serve more then two Shots per person, so you grabbed a group of strangers and said u werre buying them all shots, then proceeded to drink all of them.
it took us a while to figure out sex on a tire swing, buuuuuuuut MISSION ACCOMPLISHED
Just remember that I named his dick Robo-cock before he got into the sheriff's department.
All I'm saying is that any 24 year old guy who sends me a snapchat from the vantage point of his dick with the caption "hiding behind my weiner" is off my list potentially dateable guys.
Thank you for deleting me from Instagram. Also, I'm carrying your child. Happy new year!
And they're not making a turkey. My cousin was "hoping to shoot a bird this week"
Cocaine is ok on a cleanse, right?
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