her voice is like 435,765 daggers being simultaneously twisted into my eardrum
i'd rather just be hit by a car than answer her phone calls
you really need to stop walk of shaming home from theme parties.
There are thorn wounds on my balls, don't ever question my dedication to party again
She said she's saving anal for marriage cuz she has to save something for her husband...seriously just caught myself lookin at rings.
I feel like my teeth are sweating.
I feel like I need to get a restraining order against him but I'd probably be the one to break it.
I'm going to buy her a puppy, let her fall in love with it, then kill it in front of her. Does that answer how I feel about her?
Does the room smell any better?
Yeah, i sprayed perfume. It smells like Victoria's Secret, if Victoria's secret was that she was homeless.
On a completely unrelated note I think I have carpal tunnel
Again, totally unrelated
You are the ghost of drunk bitches past, present, and future.
Have you ever been up at one in the morning and thought to yourself, "I do not know nearly enough about penguin reproduction"?
My life has hit a new low, I just licked MDMA of someone's bed.
I'm still questioning who dropped me off last night. So successful wedding?
so we just got back from swapping peoples patio furniture around to different patios. some people might like unexpected change. others might regret living on the ground floor.
Unless it has to do with ramen, goldfish, cheese, or rugby, don't talk to me.
Randomize
