i puked in the mini-firdge
we don't have a mini-fridge?
bought one. it ws too cheap to pass up. xcept now there's puke in it,,, but the freezer's fine so i feel pretty good about that
i just had to google what happens if your dog eats your nuva ring
My last google search last night was 'vodka swimming pool'.
fyi gin and iced coffee...not my greatest invention
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I found out during it when he said "my girlfriend never does this" so he's all to blame, I had no idea until half way through.
I hurt. I blacked out in a onesie. Reevaluation needs to happen.
he got a rim job in the basement.
apparently i was the one who gave it to him.
I almost got away with it until she smelled beer on the stroller.
Where is a good place to buy a New Year's outfit that acknowledges I don't have tits but screams I suck dick like a champ?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If I don't end up being a booty call for Valentine's Day, you wanna go to the movies?
It's like we come as a package. Your slogan should be "be in my family, sleep with my roommate."
My slogan can be "bonding the family together. One dick at a time."
I just masturbated to a Jock Jams cd. What have you done today?
Let's celebrate our freedom by getting high and doing stupid shit.
She gave me a boner for the first time in 9 years.
Nothing kills the mood like opening another guy’s dick pic in bed
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