it sounded like he was fisting a can of crisco.
it was like weight watchers had a halloween party.
...I woke up with a yo yo in my underwear...
I made a google map for "places I got blow jobs"
I really wish you were half the slut you're sister was in college
I was trying to be an adult about it and simply deal with the situation, but a bowl seemed much more comforting.
Oh my god I peed in a park last night and then tried to set off fireworks with a group of middle-aged men
The best part about drinking boxed wine is you can blow up the bag and use it as a pillow
Just got biofeeze on my vag. Weirdest sensation everrr. Can't decide if I want to cum or cry
You don't know how emotionally damaged I am from crashing into that park maintenance van. I'll never ride a bike because of it.
I can't believe I came last night staring into my profile pictures eyes.
you just cant say you love him and then say you want to fuck your boss
It's very rude to dive mouth-first into someone's crotch without knowing if their wife is cool with it.
he was just sitting there in his underwear... and his chewbacca mask...
Your ex spoke highly of your penis and it’s skill. I’m interested in learning more about it ;-)
Randomize
