shouldn't i get a discount if shes pregnant?
My student's should feel privledged to see me tuesday after the amount of alcohol I consumed this weekend.
Dude I pulled down his pants and he already had a condom on
Who would have thought google would have HELPED me fail a test...not pass...thank you pacman, thank you google....
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i dont mean to point any fingers but there is a lot of urine in the kitchen
She washed lettuce and peppers in the shower and proceeded to make a salad
He's currently rapping every word to 'more money more problems' at what could be a over 30s gay bar. I'm not sure yet. More info to come.
I tried to take a photo for proof but couldn't hold my penis, camera, and measuring tape all at the same time.
Just found a bottle of tequila in the washer.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There are so many birds around me. And squirrels. I feel like that chick from Enchanted...but like if she had a dick and made poor life decisions.
What? My family got wasted on patron and I threw up on my pants and said it was gravy. Hot mess.
At least one of us had a weekend full of money and dick
My booty call fought through ice and a foot of snow to get here. He brought booze, food, and cigarettes for three days. My vagina is the greatest motivator of all time.
I've pulled 4 ticks off of me. This is the last time I suck dick in the wild.
He fucked me while I was smoking his blunt. His apartment was trashed and he drives a van that looks like it’s been hit by a train but still 10/10 would fuck again.
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