I had a long pep-talk with my penis that ended in "I love you, I'll try harder and I'm sorry."
I guess there's some 16 and under softball tournament and they all are at my work. what is a 21 year old to do?
The responsible thing...show them the break room.
Her friend drew me a diagram of how we could get away with her giving me a blowjob at work.
I have to take his virginity. It's what God put me on earth for. It's my life mission.
Puked up what appears to be battery acid next to the treadmill. Everyone noticed.
We have an unspoken agreement. He helps me move and I give him a blow job. It's really unfair to him considering he doesn't know how much shit I have.
She clicked her fingers, said "here boy!", and pointed at her vagina.
i need some food
Holy shit I forgot about you stabbing him.
You ask too many questions when I'm blowing you. You're like a dentist asking how my day has been during a cleaning.
It was after I slept with him he tells me he's a juggalo
Well it was nice knowing him
Every time Brady gets sacked I cum a little...
After a beer I realize now I may have shared too much about my obsession with ghosts with my therapist this morning.
I woke up at 5am on my couch, naked, with a cereal bowl of water next to me. Apprently, drunk me thought I was a kitten last night. Super impressed I slept next to the bowl all night and didn't spill a drop.
I guess you could say that.. I mean, we did walk in on our DD doing a keg stand thru her ass.
I can’t tell if I have feelings for him or if my vagina does.
Randomize
