Do you think they'll have a special part during the BET awards for Michael Jackson even though he turned white?
I accidentally requested the ides of march off instead of st patricks day. Is this an omen? will alcohol be my brutus?
its a saturday night. im home alone watching legally blonde, eating week old birthday cake and drinking milk out of the carton. so yeah im doing real well
i mean, we fucked on the futon in the garage where his band practices. pretty sure im now obligated to like his band on facebook.
Quick question... Why were there condoms frozen into ice cubes?
He panicked, you ducked and I was coming off a 3 day coke binge. It was no one's shining moment.
There was a half eaten cheeseburger on my coffee table. Guess I made it to McDonald's.
i wasnt laughing because you were puking, i was laughing because three yards away there was a couple seriously getting it on
continuing my moment killer tradition in the best possible way
If it's up to me, I'll already have my pants on and walking out before he gets soft afterward.
The only way that night could have gotten any better would be if a unicorn would descend from the heavens with a nacho bell grande in a bag around its horn beat boxing Hakunah Matata.
I think i should wear mittens next time we have sex.
It's 4/20 of course I'm going to smoke in the portapotty and be ripped outta my mind at the lung cancer walk.
we broke the bed, curtan rods, a dresser drawer, and unless I didn't notice it before, we put a hole in the wall. This is why he and I have to fuck in motels.
Wow this just keeps getting better, weed, shrooms, a stripper..........a gun.
Look, I am sorry I shaved your cat...but get over it.
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