I am officially superior to you. I said "Go Go Gadget Dick" before I fucked her. I dare you to beat that.
So Jesus turned water into wine. So what? I once turned a whole student loan into natty light. Your move holy man.
i just used google streetview to figure out where i spent the night last night
I vomitted in the hotel where they film gossip girl last night. Everywhere.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He wanted to take a picture with our pizza to show his mom that I was pretty but more importantly that he practices in "sober" activities
Don't worry, I could have been accepted their by waving my dick at the admissions building.
U have successfully fucked my brains out. I just almost put deodorant on like chapstick
I'm in your room because it's a safe space. Is it ok to pee in here?
My fucking earlobe is bruised what the hell
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I found a new button on my vibrator, tonight was a success
I'm trying to drink up the confidence to run in public.
Who the fuck is "nick from the beach last year"
No idea hahaha...why?
He just texted me.. Should I ask where I met him?
You stumbled in the door as high as a kite, & ran into the table. I asked you if you were all right. You replied with "I don't have any soup."
I feel a blackout coming on
Plz don't have me burst into your house saying you're late for re airport to rescue you from a fat girl again
That was 2 times
And now Google thinks I have a hard hat fetish...maybe I do...
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