with your own penis?
I understand why you refuse to be sober now
Professor took us out for drinks. She said if I ordered the 64oz "Call a Cab," she'd give me an A. I drank it in 5 minutes. A+?
Just had to explain to a senior manager why I had duct tape residue on my wrist and hand. This weekend was a success.
I guess you don't remember pouring tequila in the dog bowl and slurping it.
Sorry for trying to give you my dresser last night. Are any of the drawers still in your car?
Is it bad that i wanna bang this girl ONLY because she looks like my cousin?
don't get you morals all over my torrid fantasties
I am sleeping in the bathtub because my bed is too soft.
So yeah he had good weed?
Hahaha I can already see the arrest warrants. It's gonna be beautiful. I'll get them framed.
So again no comment on the cleavage. I'm a bit disappointed. If those girls come together to make cleavage AND I send you a pic of it, you have to comment on it. That's like relationship 101.
Dude. There are selfies on my phone of me, wide-eyed, sucking my pillow. We did NOT split that bag 50/50.
The shrooms have turned on carrie. Change of plans. We're getting stoned and finding bacon.
I had to switch coats with someone at work because you can see the giant sex choke bruise on my neck. Being kinky is hard.
I found a 9 minute video on my phone of you singing into an eggplant.
Randomize
