Small dicks are the new regular sized dicks.
do you know why "how to shave your balls" is bookmarked on my computer?
im contemplating emailing my dad and telling him how worthless i am and how sorry i am that he pays for my life...aka my bar tabs.
Emergency need house key where r u I just got shit o n
I'm pretty sure whiskey overrules bulimia in the eyes of Texas boys
I wore water proof eyeliner just incase the first picture of me of 2012 is a mugshot
Why was there a 1000 piece puzzle covered in hot sauce being cooked in the microwave?
My arms are still sore. Apparently, lube wrestling is the best workout ever.
You need to be full form and virile tomorrow so I can live vicariously through your rub and tug.
We played Rock Paper Scissors to see who would have to go down on the other person.
This power is too much for most humans to handle safely. It's like having the nuclear launch codes, except it's my penis.
I shit myself when I came, don't have flu sex
Saw my drug dealer at Easter mass with his family so that was weird
Whenever someone said no you would yell "Die Motherfucker." Kind of like some twisted drinking game.
I'm floating on a rainbow and a purple elf is giving me advice. COME NOW!!!
Randomize
