No. He just yelled "youre having one more orgasm!" So he made that happen and then he rolled over and went to sleep.
The gay bar tender told me I looked like Prince William. And that I needed my balls licked.
Chicken salad taco, you know, when you're out of bread and crackers, and high.
I woke up to a shot of jager next to my face. I felt bad for it so i drank it
It makes me really sad that some people start their saturdays running or biking instead of with 3 shots of tequila, a sausage biscuit, freaks & geeks and 2 orgasms.
I like that you're Jewish, because you can rail me on Christmas Eve and it won't be weird.
You can't spell "party" without "RA."
You know what else you can't spell it without? "Gonna get fired."
They just keep looking funny at me. No one has attempted to tell me that I don't make sense though so maybe they're all way more high than I am.
So much rum. So many feels.
So some drunk guy just tried to convince me with all of his passion that bacon is a color
His last name was woodcox? That just screams I've got a great penis
Dude. That Grinch had his priorities right when he was worried that there might be a cash bar at that town celebration.
I just asked him what would happen if my boobs fought crime. I think I'm cut off.
stop falling asleep in the bathtub. you are not a movie star, you cannot die that way.
He literally shoved the EMT, climbed in the back of the ambulance with his vodka and was like, "C'mon, people. Wrap this up. I got shit to do."
Randomize
