i got lost in a forest last night. this morning I realized the "forest" was just 6 trees on campus.
someone just broke into my class and invited everyone to the bar ...now we're filling out a police report. awesome.
what date should I let him know how fucked up I am?
I'm drugging my best friend. I'm like a whole new level of bitch.
there's a guy in the del taco parking lot doing pushups. let's be his friends
She was wearing my robin hood hat from Halloween shouting "steal from the rich and give to the poor, mothafuckaaaaas." We are taking her everywhere.
Hungover. Have to fix everything I've broken. I'm gonna be very late.
Currently at a fetish club with a set of swings (don't ask). Having flashbacks to the park by my house
nobody was home so I boiled the dildo
It's a beautiful day to be high as fuck
Hey, I'm 22. I'm allowed to have a sex life and you're going to hear about it.
Currently googling hangover cures, which looks a lot like working from the perspective of my boss.
he fucked me while wearing his "Reagan Bush '84" tank and my inner democrat has never been more disappointed
you know you're doing something right when your drug dealer insists on hugging you before you leave.
No offense, but I don’t think I would want to see him in anything skimpier than a hazmat suit.
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