We're facebook friends in real life
Just got a orange juice for my grandma, put gin in it without thinking. She's having a good morning.
You taught me that having a dip while u shit is awesome. I appreciate u for that
Just puked on the beach. Hungover. In front of my parents. I love summer.
I think throwing up in my her purse is probably why we broke up
And I was slip and sliding my life away on a giant tarp with tons of soap and bitches. Priorities man, priorities.
Be there soon... with munchies, blow jobs and shoulder rubs.
Smoked all day yesterday and even more today. Just survived high dinner with mom and sister. Thought I might eat the whole table
Okay. This morning the comforter was wet, you were underwearless and using a tiny blanket. What'd you do??
Lesbians had sex in my bed last night. It's a thing of pride
Had to drive my booty call home because he had an asthma attack after we had sex .. How was your night?
I wouldn't hesitate to give up my job to have regular bowel movements again
I feel like ditching all logic and responsibility and get shit-faced before the week's over. Thoughts?
Fuck this. I'm adopting 12 cats and naming them after the 12 disciples. Maybe Jesus will have sympathy for me then.
Please tell me why we have been neighbors since elementary school and waited until the night before I moved to fuck.
Randomize
