So for his birthday I'm planning on doing what stripper did when she put the matches on her nipples..lights them n makes him blow them out..SEE I AM dating material.
How was your sisters wedding?
Oh, I didn't go. I slept through my alarm. I finally woke up and was like...I don't think so.
sisterhood ftl.
Skinny jeans should not be made in size 14. Then, it's just a lie.
I learned to sign I want to be on you today
Score
Deaf chicks here I come
I either just got cockblocked or saved from a lengthy court case so I'm kinda conflicted about how my night went.
all i know is that each time we woke up we were at a different chinese restaurant. help.
1 be hot 2 flirt with everyone 3 use hotness to make people do things for you. It's a simple model.
By the end of the night I was using him as a leg rest and he was handing me pizza rolls when I wiggled my hand. It's a proven method.
Is this helping you get pumped up or am I going to have to send you more dick pics?
Hey, I'm 22. I'm allowed to have a sex life and you're going to hear about it.
Teach me the ways of your demonic sorcery.
PLEASE AT LEAST MEOW SO I KNOW YOU AREN'T DEAD
Let's ride this possibly pregnant train together
I'm just going to take a nap and hope I wake up more attractive.
We put you in the box and you started to cry, that's how high you were.
You were licking skittles to check if they were "halucinateizers" so no, you are not leaving the house while on antibiotics.
Randomize
