ps i'm pretty sure i was blacked out when we hooked up? good thing i was w. you and not an actual diddler or an organ harvester
Hahaha. Shut up you were blacked out my ass. U were str8 mixin it up with urs truly like it was ur J-O-B
he put his p in my v, then his p in my a, and then tried to put the p in my m? first, double dipping is rude. second, i'm glad he finished shortly after that, i'm afraid of where he'd try to stick it next. my ear?
Just paid for that girls abortion on my dad's black card. I feel like P-Diddy.
If only guys knew how much awkward ass shaving goes into making sex this good...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was woken up at 4am by a stranger shaking my foot who said I looked like I needed a cigarette.
Did you mean to cry when you finished last night? Or were you just that drunk?
I think I collapsed a disk in my spine when I drunkenly lifted that fat girl on my shoulders to chicken fight at the pool.
in the middle of getting head my cat meowed. she looked up , meowed back, and then continued giving me head.
one of these days i'm gonna do a sparkly magical girl transformation into snoop dogg
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He just kept mumbling that he was too drunk for society and then he peed in a bush
Yeah, sorry about that. Dropped the phone on my face while I was watching porn.
are you still up? I want to use you for sexual things. you have 35 minutes to respond to this offer.
I might be a bit longer... I found a hot guy at the grocery store, so I'm following him and buying stuff that he's buying
how do you say “i know we haven’t hung out in a month, but i gave myself an amazing orgasm to your picture the other day” without coming on too strong
The highlight of my week is I found some hetero porn I didn't completely hate. Branching out.
Randomize