it was beautiful and magic like when a hot girl grabs her own tits and smiles at you
apparently the secret to your success is patron
I met the perfect girl for you, she's smart, likes cars, has at least one ear, and really blue eyes!
please elaborate on, "atleast one ear"
found a half eaten roll befind my toilet today. my birthday just keeps popping up.
I'm not upset because i like you. I'm upset because I can't use you for the sex anymore.
When the doctor said the anal leakage might not be reversible without some lifestyle changes you start asking if it's worth the entertainment value.
And don't try to lose a condom in me tonight. My vagina is not a storage compartment where you can just leave something and try and use it again later in the week.
Except if I'm having sex. In which case you're in the bed with us or out of the room. No halfsie participation.
Some girl at my gym just tried to casually drop the fact she can kegel 3 lbs...
our friendships a beautiful delicate flower...that has been crushed by peni
I have a rash on my arm from the cat litter. Think the cat will be mad that I peed in its box?
After we had sex he told me it was a "goodbye gift". We haven't talked since.
I think even the taco bell employees judged me
He tried to kiss me in the middle of hooking up... it was a deal breaker. I got off him and left.
So making out with chicks at the bar is fine and dandy, but your booty call can't kiss you? You have the strangest fucking rules...
I HAD SEX WITH COLBY AND HIS FIVE YEAR PLAN IS TO STEAL A REALLY EXPENSIVE PAINTING AND ASKED ME IF ID BE INTO HELPING HIM AND I WOKE UP IN HIS BED TO A WOMANS TUBE TOP NEXT TO ME
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