It's happening again. I feel like I'm under water and my heart beat matches "Teenage Wasteland"
He's engaged. If the world's smallest penis can find true love than I can too.
If she wants to think that freshman 15 means sleeping with 15 guys than so be it I just gotta make sure I'm one of them.
Got hereat 8. Had 6 beers 2 shots and a game of diZZY BATOS
you were upstairs in your room looking out your window and saw him puking in your bushes outside. you then proceeded to open the window and sing Come To My Window
How external is "for external use only"?
I may not have eyeballs after all the drunk naked people having sex outside.
Yeah, first time I've shit my pants in my twenties... I'm thinking about putting it on my Facebook timeline
There are some things you can ever unsee. And walking in on your dad jerking off is one of those things.
The Easter dress struggle is real
Yep. Just had to pull mine off to puke.
I ordered more beers for everyone but had to finish them all. I promptly went outside and projectile vomited in the street. Three times.
He must be a special kind of stupid to cheat on a women who works at a funeral home. Does he not understand you can get rid of dead bodies easier than most Americans?
I'll give you one guess. It has a cock and I want it
We all just got ice cream, condoms, and toilet paper now were gonna go home and watch movies as a family.
Condoms?
Drunk. Come get me. Out front blue shirt.
Where are you? And you borrowed my shirt. I know what you're wearing. How wasted are you?
Hotel
WHICH HOTEL??
Randomize
