I will be horny for about another two hours. Feel free to call me until then.
So I'm at the Chevron by your house. I need a condom and a couch.
Together?
Preferably.
i just fingered the ice cream at home instead of getting a spoon
been there done that
i just checked to make sure valentines day this year was on a weekend assuming ill want to be drunk all day
hearing about your life makes me feel so good about mine
He kept saying 'your mouth is Amazing' even after I was on his dick.
So after I was tied with a feather boa he left me there with KFC and cherry coke
You stole my camera, took a picture of yourself and said "that's beautiful, just as beautiful as our waitress".
It was either the harsh truths I was divulging or the liquor..... But either way, I made mom puke
I found them. Thank God. Now I'm gonna have to take a Xanax for the panic attack I almost had trying to find my Xanax.
Is it just me, or do you see your penis in that hand?
Gotta wait until my full time offer is confirmed before I try to fuck the mid level manager
COME HERE AND I WILL SUCK YOUR COCK UNDER THE LIGHT OF THIS BEAUTIFUL ELECTRICITY
She puked off the side of the cruise ship onto a newlyweds balcony table and they watched it all happen then they made her clean it up
He walked in on me masturbating and on my phone but got mad because I wasn't watching porn just tweeting
you smell like vanilla and daddy issues
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