I wanna fuck padma even more now that she's preggers. Is that sick?
Yes but- 100% agreed
I should have kept drinking, a coma can't be as bad as this hangover
for real. he might as well bring dogs if they're lower than a 7.
I've got 15 minutes to eat dinner and drink a 40. Four years of college has all been training for this moment.
I made him tell me how he proposed to his wife before I'd bang him. I have a problem.
I gave ten strangers a full description of his penis and its abilities. I need to stop drinking.
He tried to finger me at Disneyland! He tried to taint the happiest place on earth!
I'm high and craving hash browns from McDonalds. Please pick me up. I also would like a hug and a supportive pat on the back when you get here. Thanks.
Its two in the afternoon. McDonalds don't sell hash browns at 2 in the afternoon. Whore. The hug I can provide however.
"I'm looking more at his dick bulge." Never thought I'd hear those words come out of my boyfriend's mouth.
Getting your clit pierced is not something you want to trust to a crazy girl with an ice cube, some vodka, and a sewing needle. Trust me. I learned that the hard way.
You're the second person to offer to fuck me in the bathroom at work. Idk whether I should feel honored, or if cvs is just a turn on.
my roommate woke me up with head. more awkward than it sounds.
It was after I slept with him he tells me he's a juggalo
Well it was nice knowing him
Who am I kidding? With my track record, I'm going to end up sleeping at the strip club with just nipple tassels on.
Our conversation went from you choking me to my quarter life crisis reeeaaalllll quick.
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