I think we should see other people.
Already working on it.
Thank God they found balloon boy, I was afraid that Michael Jackson was ordering take out from heaven.
he let me duct tape his mouth because i said it was my fetish, i really just wanted him to shut up
Awesome morning. I just met my boyfriend's wife, should I have shaken her hand or was the hug a tad over the top?
Nothing like a little anal leakage to start off Sunday morning. Can't decide if that speaks well of my weekend or not...
Between the booze, mechanical bulls, and penis's I think my body hates it when I'm single
They wouldn't let me hang out the sun roof and sing apple bottom jeans in the drive thru of hardee's i think i no longer like these ppl
I wish there were birth control emojis
Ugh I need to clean my floors/walls/ I actually don't understand why boys get drunk and pee on things
Next time one of us has a party everybody has to wear a diaper. But actually you just need a shit ton of disinfectant wipes and maybe a hazmat suit.
He always finds the good stuff. He's like a truffle pig for bud.
Copy that. Decided to shower with a beer in a glass bottle. Gotta stop the bleeding first. Be there is 20
After sex he cried I didn't know what to do so I patted him on the back and went to the kitchen to make waffles
Did we seriously just get into a fist fight over kit kats?
Thanks for the pic It's going to be lovely dealing with my boner while I'm in a meeting with your father.
Of course that's what I'm wearing. I need to find a beard to mount and ride STAT.
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