I don't want to talk about it. He was like the Little Engine that couldn't get me off.
some how when im high sleep beats hunger...its like how paper beats rock it doesnt make any fucking sense but it still happens
he doesn't care that i have a boyfriend so why should i?
logic in its finest
Dude how the fuck are we gonna get the lawnmower outta the pool?
You threw up? Were you ladylike while you did it? I'm wagering that you were. Like a Disney princess. Like a "Puke Me Pretty" Barbie.
That's the first time I've ever heard something that tickled both my gag reflex and my penis simultaneously.
As a matter of fact, I am on the treadmill with the Bottle of UV Blue as we speak.....
I feel like I should go door-to-door apologizing to America.
So his shoes are still here. And there are three contacts in a case. And a shirt on the bed. I've checked my dorm and he's not here. I'm so confused.
my nose is crying tears of wow.
He texted me "sup", so I sent him that gif of the surprised guy and apparently it offended him
Just realized that I bailed on you guys yesterday just so I could get wendy's. it was worth it but still, sorry
I accidentally made jungle juice last night.
Real life skills section of my resume: blow jobs, food knowledge trivia, sarcasm, mascaera application, sexting, tolerance of rail liquors
Then you got drunk and shit in her car. Nothing before that matters. She isn’t calling you back.
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