Nice. Sry i missed. Also sorry that i pissed on my toothbrush last nite
Sink seemed easy target but balance was no good
I feel fat after drinking my meal replacement shake.
I added chocolate sauce, a bsg of m&ms and a crushed up brownie to make it taste better.
Just looked at my call log. I called Planned Parenthood at 3am.
well, 500 bucks doesn't grown on trees, and i need that bear suit for any chance of vagina access.
Does the whole "it was New Years" excuse apply this year?
Blood. All over. Pre coke adventure needs to slow down unless I'm involved
Hypothetically, if a stripper with braces bites you on the cleavage and it leaves an open wound, do you need a tetanus shot?
I have a feeling she doesn't appreciate me as a person. She only fucks me because I look like Harry Potter.
Whatever. I'm just trying to get my dick sucked while taking online harmonica lessons
He's upstairs shouting 'FUCK OFF I'M IN MY MOTHERFUCKING ZEN ZONE' out of the window.
We told you to go get more fire wood and you came running back with a log that was on fire, not drunk at all.
Do I lose at life if I cry in a grocery store while buying a pregnancy test?
actually there are like 49038098 people in the bathroom for no reason. Singing My Heart Will Go On and pseudo fighting.
I HAD TO PAY A COVER FOR THE FIRST TIME LAST NIGHT. My tits didn't get me in and I was so pissed.
You said you made a new recipe, but it turned out you just cooked ramen with vodka instead of water.
Randomize
