am i at home because theres a dig starrrrring at me and i dont know wit plus i haer sirens. run fast.
either we just had an earthquake or I am really good @ masturbating
yeah i was sneaking up to her room and on the way i saw a picture of her and left
Looks like an M-80 went off in a lb. of pastrami
here I sit at Southern Illinois' finest pubs and I thought I heard your laugh. I was sadly astonished to turn and find a midget cracking herself up reading the label on her can of chewing tobacco...
there's just something about her that screams "i'm into chicks who wear flannel"
.....so he has a son. Josh. That is not his roommate
4pm update. Theres smashed cake inside my duffel bag, a vodka bottle in the dish drainer, and the most productive thing ive done is make 40 pigs in a blanket
Being high is an amazing excuse. I was using him for the potential of a beret, come on. I'd do that sober.
I was mixing candy canes and coors light and was in a great place.
She kept throwing quarters at him and yelling "Goooaaallll!!" whilst taking her clothes off one by one. I'd say she had a good night
You lit a fire in my vagina no man can extinguish.
the guy working the counter at the liquor store noticed i got my haircut and said it was pretty.....
Dude!! Who the fuck glued Cheetos to my couch? Bastards!!
she was sitting on the toilet asking for me to take a "cute facebook profile picture" for her
Randomize
