dude you need to get laid
me?
no, the other guy who hasn't been laid in 7 months
oh I thought you were talkin about me
wait
I gave my ex the dutch oven last night. How was your night?
I just woke up. In the port-o-potty next to our tailgate. an hour after the game started. explain.
the last girl i hooked up with and the last guy i hooked up with are hooking up right now. this is where bisexuality becomes a problem.
We need to start having rules for the weekends. Like no more downing 3 shots because we want to slut dance a little harder or because biggie just came on.
Thank you for holding my bra last night while i did a topless lap around the house
Thank you as well. My penis is starting a slow-clap right now.
I love that the power of margaritas brought us back together.
Well I don't think you can suck his dick while he's making pizza. I think that goes against some health codes.
You gave me a bottle of tequila and introduced me to a ginger named cowboy. I actually love you.
This kid wants me to stop partying. Like I have only known you for 5 days. Chill.
It will pretty much be equal to the feeling I had when you let me hold your dick while you were peeing, or when I graduated high school!
You texted me a picture of some random naked guy. Did you lose your virginity?
You are now at the point where people no longer question whether or not you might be on drugs. They now know for certain that you are
If you wear a peguin suit you MUST send me a picture!!!
Randomize
