You can spell. I can kill people with no remorse. We all have our skills.
last night he was wasted watching Entourage and changed everyone in his phone book to LLOYD!!!!
I just turned in a 4 page paper spelling absolute as "absolut" every single time. I'm an alcoholic
How do I introduce myself to her without coming off as "the guy who jacks-off to her profile pic"?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You talked to that cop for like 15 minutes and when you got back, you told us you were "networking".
You know why I moved here? No public intoxication law. A cop just helped me from my bent over vomit pose, asked if I was ok, and gave me a ride home.
Hey man thanks for carrying me in and out of that frat house. There's no I in team.
In all seriousness...vodka, almond milk and chocolate syrup make a decent white russian.
Life lesson: When you compete in an impromptu "bloody mary chug-off," in the end, no one wins.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nah, he's definitely here somewhere. Whether he survived the night or not is your problem, but I'm pretty sure he's around.
Adulthood is making your own puke bucket.
In other news: I massively over-caffeinated this morning. Everything is vibrating and I can SEE THROUGH TIME
My dog and I just went outside to pee together.
He just showed up at my house with a giant box of Trojans and a 6-pack of Yoohoo "for a special treat afterwards". I'm in love.
So how often do you needs to see my tits today then?
Randomize