i jhust puked up my retainher.
I decided that just having that story under my belt and being able to tell it to my grandchildren is worth the regrets of the evening.
We have a drunk bartender with her nips a quarter inch from bein out buying us shots. GET HERE.
You just said the magic words
I feel as though the word "tired" has become synonymous with "too high to manage the stairs" lately
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I just sniffled when I woke up and got a bump of coke. I have never felt so good hung over.
You said you were going inside to sober up and then you poured yourself a wine glass of warm gin
I said I usually like going out for coffee before torturing someone's genitals. He said he understood.
he ran through my sliding door
in his defense that door gets complicated after 10 beers
So did he inherit the massive family cock?
:(
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I didn't realize how drunk I was until my vagina was in the snow.
What alcohol should i drink Saturday to completely hate life?
I hid a TracFone in her bra. We'll find her tomorrow.
What did the sign say that bob stapled to his ass?
Come over. We have half a bottle of jumbo champagne left and no boyfriends to slow us down
I'll be coming off of 7 days of not drinking. No horse tranqs either. I haven't been this sober since I was in the womb
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