That cute girl I hooked up with last night clawed my back to hell and gave me a hickey. I look like a white trash warewolf victim
I was surprised he admitted he couldnt keep up. We both knew but usually they dont come out and say it
it was one of those movies netflix should have sent weed with
nope, if she's going to skank it up with ginge-a-saurus douche she deserves the silent treatment.
Well were gunna have to wash the couch cover now...maybe even the couch, soap or fire your decision
I'm at a nursing home getting weed. Lol when times are tough, things tend to get a lil weird
Well, I convinced myself I had a sixth toe and then I ripped it off. So I PRAY you're doing better than me.
I have a physical this friday. On a scale from 1-10, 10 being the most judgemental gay bashing, how much judgement am I gonna get from my dr when he checks my balls and sees the cherry tattoo
Nothing wrong with a few meaningless hookups. Keeps the mind occupied and the body satisfied
So the dog chewed my vibrator last night. It added a nice new texture actually.
You came out of your room naked under your open robe with a mouth full of brownie on a stick and grabbed a fistful of fruit loops and shoved them into your already full mouth.
I forgot a room to the key..so whenever you wake ip and read this...I'm sleeping inthe hallway..please find me
No I will not paint you for Mardi Gras in town. It is going to rain and you don't need another ID charge
Just did coke off my highschool yearbook. Not much has changed in 5 years.
Listen I don't care what it's called as long as it's drugs
Randomize
