she had a pic of herself in a bikini as the wallpaper on her iPhone... I'm sensing a Tyra banks kinda girl. shit.
I may or may not have puked in my RA's suggestion box.
his pokemon pajamas? the fact that he was proud of the stretchmarks on his arms? or finding out he has a daughter that went to high school with us? ...you tell me what was the dealbreaker
best line ever after sex today..."wow, that was a porn-star sized load"
My mom made me chili for when I get home from the bar. Those are the standards I expect you to live up to
Is asking my 8-year-old brother if he will make us shot glasses in his ceramics class too far?
Somehow me showing up to/breaking into her house only to find I was a week early for the party became a night of weed cookies and sex.
He's had mdma poured down his throat. He's getting huggy.
She just had to change the song on the radio cause I was tap dancing on her windshield
Finals week...the biggest cock block since your brother threatened me with a beer bottle at the bar.
I want everyone to love me, and THEN I will choose who gets to eat me out all the time.
So I wore a corset to school. Fuck laundry.
I've been eating like all day, let me suffer my one 'Dear lord, I'm the size of a small whale. One that doesn't even need to find being killed by illegal whaling because I'm not even big enough to provide an decent blubber, but still big enough to be considered for a brief moment.' moment in peace.
I’m literally watching say yes to the dress, eating fancy cheeses with crackers, and I have orange dark chocolates. All of which is being washed down with merlot. And I’m 100% sure a porno is gonna go down next door tonight. They don’t have a car and arrived via taxi. Happy holidays from motel 6 Pendleton Oregon!
I miss my innocence.
I miss being able to say, "I've never done this before."
Randomize
