It was then that he suggested we all nibble ears. A nibble circle.
My mom just bought me $200 worth of booze on the condition that I promise I won't have to go to rehab eventually
The last thing I remember is him grabbing my ass and telling me he knew where the jello shots were, so I followed him.
I hid drinks in her bathroom closet.... like a squirrel... a squirrel who knew she was going to get cut off soon
I was afraid that she would smell her boyfriend's penis on my breath while we were talking.
I swear she's a drunk klepto...by the end of the night she had stolen 3 bowling balls. HOW DO YOU STEAL 3 BOWLING BALLS?
Some daaay... Bet your bottom dollar that some daaay you'll do that mollyyyy
Matt you can be anything you want to be. Including the awesome guy that brings pizza to a bunch of stoned and sorta drunk kids.
Seriously? A BAR is SPONSORING my 21... What did you do for your 21 again??
Would you like season tickets to my vagina?
guy next to me on the train just pulled out two bottles of gin and a block of cheddar. is slowly making his way through all of them.
Virgins should have to wear a badge. This burden is too heavy...
I just watched videos of people getting puppies and crying, I cried too. Definitely still drunk
We need to catch up immediately. I took ecstasy and made out with carrot face this weekend.
We're sort of like brothers. Except with more sexual tension. And we don't look alike. Or are related.
So we're not much like brothers really.
Randomize
