My clean wipe streak was ended today by two enchiladas and a can of refried beans. dammit i should have been more cautious. thanks for all ur encouragement and support.
its whatevr the fuvk you could ever want is wht it is. i dont wanna read. literacy? overated in my opinion. overated.
She told me to "stuff her hole like a build-a-bear". I was so drunk I didn't even think that was weird.
I'm like a wolly mammoth down there. what do I tell him?
He took a banana and in front of everyone showed her how he wanted it done.
she gave me head while i watched the '98 Rose Bowl on espn classic. Ryan Leaf really was a huge bust
The empty keg landed on my head. It's a good thing we already got shitfaced or i'd be a vegetable and the humor would be completely lost.
She just asked me if I was looser "in the vagina" than her. While gyrating.
You were running around drunk in a Toga chasing the frat's Husky. Of course they remember you.
Its not college unless your study breaks were to go throw up from blacking out the night before
The best part about this city is obvious. Someone saw me crouching by a bar pissing in my leftover Panera bread bowl and they just winked.
PS my house is a mess.
pps I have a rash on my face.
You serve our country by fighting in the sandbox, i serve our country by entertaining rich businessmans' daughters. We each do our part.
well that was a fail
maybe for you, but i got a free ice cube in my bra
Yes, the maid of honor did just deep throat the mic during the toast. How do I follow that?
Randomize
