I feel odd... a had sex with a chick and she keept her socks on...
Yea well when i pee it makes steam.
Vibrating panties would be amazing during this conversation!
it's like doing a sit-up... but, you're inside someone
mom came into my room and asked to borrow some condoms. We have gotten to the point where it's not awkward anymore.
I'm still seeing blue. who wrote on my bare nipple?
Wait. You NEVER used a Dizzy Doodler pen as a vibrator?!?
Is "I am going to murder you if you keep sending me requests that I cannot fulfill" unprofesh?
How frowned upon is it to take your vibrator into the tanning bed...because Operation: dripping wet is in full swing and I have a busy schedule
He's wearing my bra and eating a breadstick while jumping on our bed.....
Her tits are absolutely massive. Like ripleys believe it or not shit
Bought pregnancy tests in bulk off amazon. Kinda feel insulted that it asked if I wanted to subscribe for regular shipments.
Morning fuck and a coffee. ARE YOU READY TO CONQUER THE GALAXY WITH ME??
You know it's a bad cold when sneezing feels better than orgasming...
Tell me that I didn't just get ash in my Russian and just mix it TF in bc who cares and life has no meaning.
Randomize
