I hope my future cuntsucker is that tight
im insabelyl wasted and diont know if ill yexyed tou. call me
We fish bowled my car and anna told us a story about time travel and part of it had people melted into the side of a boat and i imagined them being melted into my car moaning in pain and then we got scared and thought zombies were outside and couldn't leave for a while.
dude i just saw a drunk guy attempt to get by IUPD and throw a uprooted bleacher seat over the edge of the stadium. funniest thing of life.
details please.
they caught him 10 rows from the top. the first thing he said was "wait I can explain, i just have to throw this over first."
oh great. kentucky is ranked #1 in the country for child abuse. go us.
if you count grabbing my crotch as an introduction then yeah i got a couple of those tonight
He said I went to go sit outside and is promised I wouldn't leave he brings me a chair and I'm gone. He found me stumbling a half mile away in my socks
I told you when I started the only reason I was gonna coach your kids soccer team was that I could meet all the hot soccer moms. So why are you so mad I slept with your ex?
My boobs are literally freaking out because I've been wearing a bra for more than three hours....I need to go out more...
And he listens to me when I talk to him like the hulk.
she was puking nonstop out of the car window in the rain during our hour long drive back, we got lot of honks
I still have a little drunk in my system
I think I'm dead. Also I think I stole $20 from a stripper.
You did. Then gave it to me.
Just told my mom life fisted my asshole. She looked at me with complete understanding. I'm scared...
I cant promise hot guys but i can promise alcohol which is close enough.
Randomize
