Yeah, she'd be cute...but she has faith. It's a problem down south.
yeah. pants. i need to put pants on. i didn't do that last night. big mistake
don't leave me alone with all the disney princess sluts
He saw my tits then looked up and yelled thank you jesus as loud as he could
He wants to know how I lost my bra in his pants....id like to know too
I feel like I just need to fuck him after all his effort. like a "hey man good try" like those kids who get last place and still get a trophy.
I just woke up entirely naked on top of a pile of some guy's laundry on his bedroom floor.
we're going to the olympic park to run the 100m yeaaaahhh
it's 3am. Nothing could possibly go wrong here.
I can't believe you picked a finger in the ass over lunch with me.
who started the 'put a scrunchy' around his balls' game?
I slipped on a piece of pizza last night and when the bouncer helped me up I told him the garbage can pushed me.
Client visitor days are the worst. If I have to wear a tie and can be hungover at least have the decency to find some more attractive visitors
I don't like pregnant me. I eat very large burritos, I don't like having sex and I can't even finish a Blue Moon.
I DO have hobbies! I drink. I drink more. I catfish men on Grindr with photos of guys who are less attractive than me. I listen to Lovecraftian podcasts. I'm very well-rounded.
Some guy is here to get laser hair removal on his balls. I hate my job.
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