nothing tight i'm going to stuff myself with food and alchy
I think you came in my ear last night and I had to pick it out infront of my kids in class today
Rain ponchos don't count as shirts at the bar. FYI.
I just took my birth control on the way to class with a 1/2 melted jello shot I happened to find in my purse from Friday night. I told you I was going hard this year.
I forgot how wholesome of a place a park is when youre not drinking there.
besides i was ending his dry spell. it's written in the bible that jesus likes that right?
You turned to me, winked, whispered "man the harpoons" and walked out with the fat chick
I think I'm drunk at the airport. Oh the possibilities
I walked by the two of them and mouthed "fuck me" based on there reaction I think they just came in their pants
He said you asked to eat pepperoni off his dick and he thought it was weird
I mean I thought it sounded fun
I'm so high right now that I winked back at a character in this TV show.
Remind me to tell you: When threeways go awry, my MLK weekend story.
We're like a married couple, but we only have sex on college holidays and other people's birthdays.
I'm either hallucinating or there is a dying cat outside my apartment....
I think I recall josh coming in to the room to tuck us in and give us a few condoms and I threw them back all furious and told him 'we don't use those.' Oh god
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