What can i say im a girl who smells like weiners.
we were spooning and you were the big spoon but you insisted that I call you "the ladle"
I vomitted in the hotel where they film gossip girl last night. Everywhere.
things I have learned from cosmo today- 40% of guys are uncircumsized, you can have a beer facial, and i really need to get tested for std's
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she's using the space heater to try to heat up a pop-tart...
I just opened a bottle of wine with a shoe and a tube of mascara. Get on my level
we just bought Vicodin from the Chinese delivery guy, this day just keeps getting better.
She scratched my sunburn during sex. I didn't know whether to cry or cum
she did 8 shots of vodka. THROUGH A SIPPY STRAW
I have got to meet this girl.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeahhh, apparently my brothers think its ok not to check on me if a creeper is talking to me bc i "like those weirdo types"
What happened to my face?
You kneed yourself in the eye during the Harlem Shake.
It was impressive.
SHE'S PREGNANT AS SHIT, AND I JUSR PEELED A CLEMENTINE TO CHASE SHOTS WITH!! COULD LIFE GET ANY BETTER!?
It says something about our relationship that he stole your phone to tell me about his dick at 3am and neither of us realized that wasn't you until just now
Stop recording sex noises and setting them as my ringtones. This time it was at a funeral
I don't actually like you. I just want to hook up with you.
I'm fine with that
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