What kind of poor, pathetic town do we live in where a horny teenage girl is sitting in her basement on a saturday night, unlaid?
if you call bong hits and onion rings a party, then yeah
He kept singing "who's that peekin in my window" we thought he was high til we realized someone was lookin in the windows.
He literally sends me dick pictures, EVERY DAY. SEVERAL DIFFERENT ANGLES ..it's like I GET THE POINT.
Wow. This hand sanitizer smells awesome. It's like I just gave a handjob to a fruit basket.
she fascinated with the iron the back of the toilet seat. she made me sit in the bathroom with her for a solid 10 minutes while she just stared and laughed at it
I think my sunburn makes my ass look bigger
I was gonna turn him down, but he correctly identified a song from Pocahontas.
Thank you for listening to my rant about tacos.
I don't think meeting his drug dealers counts as a relationship landmark.
Ur betting me $100 that I can't do ur sister?
My boss asked me what was wrong today and I really wanted to tell her I woke up too late to smoke a bowl before coming in
Let me guess you did your hair instead? Has anyone told you about priorities?
Banged a guy with 2 broken arms once. Top that
Last night I tried to apply for a job at ihop. That drunk.
there is definitely a hickey on my left nipple.
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