I hate your face
Note to self: when drunk try to remember that ctrl, alt and dance doesnt exist on a keyboard.
By connection do you mean me drunkenly grinding my ass on his lap for an extended period of time? If so, then yes, we had a "connection"
just customized my debit card w a pic of me ralphing over the toilet. figure it'll give the bar keep a good cut off est and for shits n giggles when buying my handles at the liqour store
just fought my dog for the chicken pie I dropped on the floor.
Keep in mind that he's 43, unemployed and living with his parents. There's really not much we could do to make his life worse.
You can't possibly imagine how much I miss you. At least I'll always have that hidden folder in my computer.
I may have just unintentionally roofied a man in a wheelchair
Its okay that he doesn't remember you, he only remembers girls by their boobs and I think you were wearing a jacket
I met her at the quidditch match. She was the snitch and I caught her. After at the bar she walked up grabbed my hand and said snitches have flesh memories.
I can feel your movements against the shared wall we are leaning up against. It makes me feel as though we are one. Queue Pocahontas song...
I think I used my NERF gun during sexual roleplay. Need to re-evaluate my life choices.
He tried to introduce me to one of his friends that kept looking at me and I said "OH NO! I can't do this shit anymore!!" It was like I had a vision of what drunk me would've done in about 20 minutes.
Gave his drunk ass water, & he poured it on my shirt while saying "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!" When reminded of it today he replied with, "at least you came in first place"
So I wake up to my ex girlfriends underwear hanging from the ceiling fan and the only thing i can think of is "what time is the game"
Randomize
